What Comes From Your Heart Doesn’t Always Reach The Hearts Of Others

What comes from your heart does not always reach the hearts of others. We’ve all gone through this at some point in our lives: doing something for someone with great care and receiving only indifference in return. It’s as if kindness, instead of speaking a universal language, has gotten lost in strange dialects.

In this case, we’re not just talking about the dissonance between what you give and what you get later. We also refer to the feeling of desolation that fills the heart that doesn’t see, doesn’t feel or perceive what others do for him or her. We are well aware that love is invisible, but if others don’t perceive it through our actions, it’s as if somehow nothing makes sense.

Some experts in behavioral and business sciences tell us that kindness is actually a handicap to social success. Somehow, the noble person who always acts honestly will experience many disappointments in this complex river of competitiveness that defines our modern world.

This is something we all know. Yet despite this, many of us choose to continue to act this way. Because kindness, doing things from the heart, is a personal value worth investing time and effort. However, we cannot deny it: disappointments make us suffer.

The bitterness of not feeling recognized hurts us. Because no one acts selfishly when they expect their partner, family, or supposed best friend to notice these little acts we do with love. Because loving sometimes requires renunciation, and this concession is also made with sincerity , although unfortunately the hearts of others are distracted, thinking about other things, tuned in to other channels…

A noble heart and its island of solitude

When someone does something with the heart, he harmonizes multiple dimensions. He values ​​his own identity, reciprocity, the desire to promote the good, the well-being of others, joy and enthusiasm. The person who acts kindly should feel rewarded, because all his effort to do good really works. Your goal has a useful purpose, however, it’s not always like that.

There seems to be no congruence between what is done and what is received: sometimes, it is an injustice that hurts us. We could give many examples. We could talk about that man who in the past struggled a lot for his children and is now rewarded with loneliness. A good example would also be that teenager who seeks integration in his peer group with respect, affection and closeness, and is received with mockery and insults.

Let’s not forget the partner who takes care of the details, who puts the happiness of the person he loves at the top of the priority list, who cares, who builds, who invests… If none of this is seen, if none of this is valued, it is because that love is not good for you. It’s a simulation of a love that needs to be reformulated, or perhaps discarded.

Those who do things with their heart and are not recognized end up living in their island of solitude. Somehow, we ended up looking a bit Prospero, the character in William Shakespeare’s “Storm”. Someone who, after being wounded by adversity and betrayal, ends up confined on a desert island with his daughter, in a magical, peaceful and spiritual world, where, inevitably, the only protagonist remains sadness.

Live with integrity and don’t give up on what you are

Tolstoy said in his time: ingratitude does not close a great heart, no indifference tires it. We will no doubt feel alone, however, sometimes acting honestly comes at a price, and if that price is disappointment, we will have to accept it. It’s always better to be yourself than to live with the incongruity of going against your roots, of being what you really are.

To survive in this complex world and in the everyday life of our relationships,  we must integrate into our lives a series of emotional and cognitive “anchors” that we can use to avoid further suffering. Kindness is not synonymous with naivety, but with the courage of someone who is faithful to what their heart says.

• We cannot become complacent professionals. There is no greater source of suffering than trying to make everyone happy.

• Never forget your own needs to act “as we believe the other expects of us” . Life is not that complicated.

• It’s also not good to be obsessed with the reward for everything you do. Kindness doesn’t require payments, just act in sync with your values.

• Remember that constant surrender does not strengthen your self-esteem. Take care of yourself, it will bring you health and personal balance.

• Realize that those who are blind to the small acts of love in everyday life do not see any kind of caring attitude. Because true love doesn’t need great demonstrations to be recognized.

The art of “good love” is wise and perceives the small details, those that are offered from the heart…