No Forward Or Backward: You Are Stuck

There are times in life when everything seems confused. It’s not that they are “bad times” in the strict sense. It is not that you are going through great suffering or serious problems, but you simply watch the days go by and feel, deep down, that you are not evolving, that you are not growing, that you are stuck.

The predominant note is the routine. Everyday is very similar to the one before, and although you don’t have to go through any major inconveniences, you can’t really get excited about anything. You cannot activate your life force, nor do you feel like trying.

You still managed to get used to the problems that previously troubled you.  If you have a mediocre or harmful relationship, you stop thinking it could be better. If your work doesn’t satisfy you, you give yourself up and take whatever it takes. You neither advance nor go backwards: you are stuck.

You’re stuck? Can’t move forward?

Stagnation is a state where you cannot get in touch with your most genuine feelings and emotions.  So you don’t feel a real impulse to act, to bring about a change that will enrich you and make living more meaningful. Here are the signs that you are stuck:

• You don’t feel enthusiasm. Do everything mechanically and try not to think about it too much. You don’t want to get complicated.
• You don’t want to commit to anything. You simply do what is asked of you, both at work and on a personal level. But you don’t want to get too involved.

• You avoid challenges. Faced with a potential challenge or novelty, you already look to the side. You’re not interested in trying them out, and you don’t even see sense in them.
• You feel fatigue most of the time. One of his favorite phrases is “I’m tired”. And it’s true, you feel physically drained of energy. You think your body is heavy and easily falls into drowsiness.
• Your routine is very structured. You do almost everything, every day, in the same way. Same times, same route, same conversations.
• You reject everything new. Anything new seems like an unnecessary discomfort. You don’t want to invest your efforts to adapt to something you don’t know about.
• You feel lazy and bored all the  time. You yawn too much and wish to be “kept quiet”, that nothing invites you to move. Almost everything annoys you, but what annoys you most is thinking about a change.

• You justify your attitudes, even with lies. You build up a series of false “reasons” to support your inactivity and your aversion to change. You make excuses to justify your stagnation.

If you don’t go forward, go back

When you go through one of these periods of stagnation, there’s bound to be a tinge of sadness or anger, or both, at the bottom of the situation. The fact that you are stuck means that, although you may not realize it, there is a problem in your life to be resolved.

Covert depression is like a small animal that constantly torments you and steals vital energy.  It’s a bland rumor that carries a lot of weight over everyday perception. As if you put a gray veil on reality and contemplate everything through this color distortion. You won’t find anything interesting enough, because you’re not looking directly.

Anger, in turn, is one of the most paralyzing emotions.  When it is rooted within you, it works by eating away at other emotions. Repressed anger makes you harsh, sarcastic and negative. It makes you feel a kind of contempt for everything around you, and nothing helps you to arouse interest. It destroys your relationships with other people and, in the long run, affects your health.

The same applies to the guilt that is sometimes installed in your unconscious. When what you didn’t or didn’t say, or did and said, generates regret and you avoid that reality, the price is likely to be this pallor of your emotions and your will to live.

Stagnation steps must be carefully observed.  Sometimes they just require a process of awareness and the act of rethinking the conditions in which you live. Other times, however, they are a sign that a crisis is beginning to unfold.

So when you feel like you can’t go forward, it’s better to go back. You are stuck in some situation in the past that has not been completely overcome and that continues to affect your present. It is true that life is not a bed of roses or an everyday party. But on the other hand, it’s actually the single most valuable thing you have.

Living without living is not an option.  Its lifetime is too short to waste it on useless routines and unfulfilling relationships. Your peace and happiness are the only goals you should really strive for. Silence must be left for the dead.

Images courtesy of Christian Schloe.