I Came To Ask You For A Hug, Not Advice
If there is a gesture that makes us present, it is hugging. If there is a gesture that can comfort us, it is for someone to put their arms around us and squeeze with the strength we need. Because hugs open the pores of the skin and allow us to show ourselves vulnerable in a protected space. An ecosystem where danger or risk is forbidden entry and where, therefore, we can get rid of our armor. So heavy…
Hugging allows hearts to synchronize, blood pressure to drop, and breathing to slow down. There are those who even manage to see the sea when they close their eyes, as if this small refuge were a shell that echoes its own nature.
Research on the nervous system, through neuroimaging techniques such as functional magnetic resonance imaging, allowed us to discover, for example, that hugs from people we know little about trigger the limbic system. A system that is directly related to emotions. So this type of hug, in addition to reducing stress levels, encourages the creation of bonds of trust with the person we hug and that we hardly know.
Do we know how to hug?
Statistics say that we talk more and more, but touch less and less. That we have more means of communication but fewer opportunities to transcend the word, whether written or spoken. This makes us brutish, that we are even embarrassed or that we need to have a reason to justify the contact.
Remember that any skill that is not practiced, especially if it is social, loses its naturalness. With hugs it’s no different. What force to apply? Where to put your hands? I don’t want to bother each other. This is how anxiety is born and the embrace loses all its power. Because we think, we don’t close our eyes and just do it. We feel weird and strange in a gesture that is natural.
On the other hand, it is possible to hug the body, but it is also possible to shake hands, gently squeeze the back of the neck or, if you are on your side, put your arm behind the other’s back. Children hug their parents with their legs as they climb onto their shoulders.
A hug is worth a thousand pieces of advice
The power of the hug is such that it is worth a thousand pieces of advice. Besides, hugs always carry the certainty of being right because they break walls and build trust. They allow a rest. With hugs, in a symbolic way, we free ourselves from the weight of our responsibility for a moment. Then, when the arms open again, everything feels lighter.
This is something that hardly ever happens with advice. Many are not valid, others we already know that they are the most suitable solution. Nobody needs to say. What we lack is the strength to be able to put these measures into practice. We want a place to rest before heading to the summit, while having the feeling that someone will take care of us and look for ways to help us if we get lost or take too long to return.
There are hugs that convey strength, others that convey peace. What they always convey is affection. An affection that, in turn, makes our inner skin stronger and more sensitive. The same one we’ve all scratched at once in a fit of rage. The one that we don’t take out on others or on some object, but on ourselves, causing us deep wounds.
Perhaps the day will come when technology makes it possible for us to embrace people who are halfway around the world. However, currently this is not possible. That’s why relationships with people around us are so important. These have a great power that those far away do not have, and that is the power to embrace us.
