Don’t Go Back To The Places It Took You So Long To Leave

If you’ve had the courage to embark on a journey of healing and personal growth, you’ve discovered this is not a simple, quick, or linear process. Perseverance is essential in the face of old patterns ready to catch you again as soon as you let your guard down. However, if your future self could send you a message, it would be this: don’t go back to the places it was so difficult to leave.

Above all, it’s important that you let go of the guilt and understand that change doesn’t happen overnight. It is normal that you have been tempted to give in and throw in the towel, to return to known suffering in order, for example, to regain a sense of control.

You’re not doing anything wrong; you are simply halfway to your new life. So today we want to dedicate a few lines to encourage you to continue.

The places we can’t get out of

We’ve all faced a situation or experience that was painful and lasted longer than it should have. Negative thought patterns, emotionally dependent relationships, irrational phobias and fears. ..

You know better than anyone what this mental prison meant to you. Do you remember when you were there? Do you remember what you felt?

Each case is different and each person’s emotional experience may vary. However, your memories may contain feelings similar to the following.

Helplessness and frustration

Mental prisons can seem as solid and firm as physical ones. So even if you were aware of what was happening, the changes you had to make and the actions you had to implement, you just couldn’t do it.

Fault

There is still a lot of misinformation and stigma in relation to mental health. Maybe that’s why you felt guilty about not being able to get out of the situation you found yourself in.

Perhaps your environment accuses you of lack of determination, calls you weak, and you will internalize that feeling that, in fact, you are to blame for your condition.

Afraid

The scariest thing about feeling trapped is thinking that this reality will be permanent. Will I ever get out of this relationship that causes me so much pain? Will I be able to overcome my shyness and establish meaningful bonds with someone? Will this deep sadness accompany me forever? If these reflections sound familiar, don’t go back to the places you struggled to get out of.

Loneliness

Perhaps the most difficult emotion of all. The lack of understanding, the isolation, the external judgment… all these variables were probably part of your experience. It’s very difficult to see how other people are able to handle situations that, for some, are insurmountable.

Understand why you want to come back, but don’t come back

Now that you’ve remembered what it was like to live in that past, you will surely feel great relief at not being there and great pride in the work you have done so far.

However, you may wonder where this desire to return to old patterns comes from . Know the main reasons for understanding the situation and strengthening the path you have been taking.

• It’s more comfortable. The brain is an organ that does not seek happiness, but survival. Therefore, he prefers routine, repetition, the known and the familiar. So, to continue acting as before, you don’t have to struggle: you already know how to do it and how you feel. On the other hand, to act differently, you need to overcome resistance.
• Your mind needs time. You need to remember that you have been implementing the same standards for decades and that it takes time to learn a new way of thinking, feeling and behaving. If you want to go back, it’s because you haven’t fully reprogrammed your mind. When that happens, what you are working so hard to achieve today will become natural.

• Now that you’re okay, you’ve lost perspective. It is very common that, when we advance and improve, we tend to think that the situation in the past was not so serious. We partially forget the pain and suffering and remember the most comfortable aspects. However, don’t get carried away by this prejudice, try to remember why you wanted to get out of there and not come back.
• You think it might be different now. Perhaps you think that your ex-partner has changed, or that you may occasionally give in to fear because you’ve faced it a few times. However, these seemingly innocuous compromises can ruin all your work: be firm and persistent in your purpose.

Don’t go back to the places you took so long to get out of

In short, we want to remind you how valuable the work you’ve done so far is. We want to encourage you to look back and see how far you’ve come.

You may not have gotten where you’re going, but you’re certainly not where you started. So, for the version of you that suffered so much in the past, and for the version that will enjoy this new reality that you are building, don’t go back to the places where it was so difficult to leave.