What Is The Role Of Grandparents In The Family?
After all, what is the role of grandparents in the family? If we think about our childhood, we will certainly remember that there is a figure that has a relevant role in it: our grandparents. They were always available to us, willing to play with anything or buy a candy or a toy when our parents didn’t want to.
We loved them. But things change when we have children of our own and it’s our parents who become grandparents. The situation changes and the role of grandparents in the family can become generators of conflicts… Do they harm more than they benefit or is it the other way around? One of the most recurrent problems between grandparents and parents is the enforcement of limits. In many cases, it is very difficult for both parties to reach a consensus.
The role of grandparents in the family as generators of conflicts
We’ve all heard it said that parents educate and grandparents spoil, isn’t that true? The reality is that grandparents are often less demanding than parents and interpret children’s inappropriate behaviors through a more relaxed perspective.
It is common for grandparents to think that they would raise their grandchildren differently than their own children are doing. On one side are the grandparents who, given their experience, do not agree with the ideas of the younger ones. On the other side are parents, who do not accept grandparents’ intrusions in their children’s education and feel that their authority is being questioned.
The reality is that this overprotection of grandparents should not lead children to disobey their parents, but it is important that parents and grandparents talk frankly. Parents need to make it clear that grandparents must help raise their grandchildren without challenging established guidelines for educating children.
The role of grandparents in the family as mediators
In fact, if we can get parents and grandparents to see each other as allies rather than opponents, children’s education will benefit greatly. Firstly, because the elderly will be able to act as mediators in conflicts that arise (as usual) between parents and children.
If grandparents are able to take a stand that balances the two sides, they can be a very convenient source of problem solving for everyone. The role of grandparents in the family in face of family conflicts can be that of “communication facilitators”.
But not only that, they can also bring peace of mind and a new look at the problem: they can offer different alternative solutions and ensure that both parents and children comply with the established agreement. In some way, they can act as a guarantee for this kind of deal.
The role of grandparents as emotional support for children and grandchildren
The role of grandparents in the family goes further. It is undeniable that they can become a great emotional support for your children and grandchildren. When we embark on the adventure of parenthood, it can provoke negative emotions: parenting is not an easy task, or at least not always an easy one.
Being able to count on the experience and advice of the elderly can give us extra security in our daily lives with our children. For this relationship to provide us with the support we need, it is important that it is based on dialogue, mutual understanding and empathy, so that the guidelines of education are respected, as well as what each one can give and receive.
On the other hand, it is undeniable that grandparents make a positive contribution to the child’s emotional development and to the child’s self-perception. They are an irreplaceable source of tolerance and affection. In addition, they help us discover who we are when they tell us stories about our family. They also develop our sense of responsibility as they are the first people we learn to care for.
Images courtesy of OC González, Lindy Baker and Gemma Evans.
