How To Be Unhappy In Five Steps
For various reasons, there are people who make the following maxim their life plan: “I was born to suffer and I will not rest until I make it” . There is an unknown impulse in all human beings that draws us into the abyss.
No wonder we are the only species that stumbles over the same rock more than fifty times. The only one, too, who is able to obsessively cling to what hurts him: a memory that afflicts him, a love that hurts, a drug that makes him sick.
Although hardly anyone consciously recognizes it, suffering attracts us. We are like the insect that approaches the flame, not realizing that it will be devoured by it. It is not “masochism”, as it is known in popular parlance. It is these pulsations of death that inhabit us with as much force as the pulsations of life.
There are some recurring behaviors that help us in our task of suffering. Habits that guarantee us continual unhappiness and that we treasure like the beggar tends to the wound that allows him to get a tip. Here, we’ll tell you how to get a guaranteed unhappiness in just five steps.
Feed the terror of economic losses
No matter how miserable you feel at your job: keep it in spite of everything. Never, listen well, NEVER take the risk of changing jobs. Hold on. You can always take more. Now, complain every day and don’t spend a lot of money, just enough so you don’t starve. Don’t forget to sharply criticize those who spend more than you do. Ah! Don’t forget to imagine every day what your life will be like if you end up sleeping in a homeless shelter.
Combine boredom with irresponsibility
Organize a routine rigid enough that you feel stuck, and complain about your boring life; thus, you will not only be bored, but you will also bore others. If you get too fed up, there’s nothing better than sitting in front of the TV for hours, or shopping with your credit card to get everything you don’t need (so you’ll have something to regret at the end of the month). If you’re not unhappy enough like that, pick a good fight with your family, your partner, or your friends. Nothing better than a fight to turn boredom into something worse.
Build a pathologized identity and run an advertising campaign about it
Eliminate the verb “to be” from your vocabulary and replace it with the verb “to be”. In this way you will not be depressed, you will be a depressed person. You will not be distressed either, but you will be an anxious individual. This way of approaching your problems is no fun if you don’t advertise. So, use any conversation to show your pathologies to others. Point out your faults, weaknesses and unhealthy traits minutely. That way you will get others to support you in your purpose to be the most miserable of mortals.
Look for bad intentions in others and eliminate gratitude from your life
Remember that every human being is bad until proven otherwise. It doesn’t matter how nice, kind or sincere they may seem. You know they have bad intentions and their apparent good disposition is nothing more than a front. It’s not enough for you to know, you also need to let the world know. Speak badly of some, when you are with others; and the others when I’m with them. That way, everyone will be warned. And, obviously, you don’t have to keep that feeling that some call “gratitude”. What will you thank you for? Life suffers and then dies. Furthermore, there are many studies that indicate that grateful people are much happier. So avoid it at all costs.
If you follow these advices one by one and practice them to the letter daily, you will soon get the unhappiness you so long for. Being unhappy is not easy, so you must really try if you want to achieve it.
Image courtesy of Ana N R.
