How To Deal With An Emotionally Distant Person
Is there anyone around you that you have difficulty communicating with? Your conversations are trivial, but when it comes time to talk about something really personal, is that person not able to talk? You can share many things, but when it comes to talking about your emotions, does it close down? If all of this happens to someone you know, it ‘s very likely that we’re talking about someone emotionally distant. Keep reading and we’ll tell you what you can do to improve this situation.
What is an emotionally distant person like?
This type of person, who is characterized by establishing a certain distance from others, can seem cold and unconcerned with the problems of others. These people usually impose barriers to not let the other get close, despite the attempts that can be made. They have a series of difficulties in creating and staying in spaces of emotional intimacy with others. Some may be overly critical, have tendencies towards isolation, and even manifest a lack of empathy and compassion.
It must be made clear that an emotionally distant person is not necessarily an introverted person. Introverted people need more time to show their true attributes and who they really are, but by no means do they impose an affective distance.
Some of the reasons why these people came to develop this personality type are related to their primary bonds: parents, siblings and those who took care of us in the first days of life. If, during the first years of life, there were bonds that failed, the child will be deeply wounded. So, when she feels frustrated and abandoned, she needs to close down so that they don’t hurt her again. That’s why, as adults, we find these people who can’t talk about what they feel.
Other possible reasons are related to more current factors, such as stress, distrust and doubts. Although it takes a long time to disarm these ideas or frameworks, the approach will be productive at some point.
How to communicate with them?
First of all, it is necessary to assess the situation to know what we are dealing with. It is necessary to find out which areas are more difficult to enter and which not. If you find an area where the person feels comfortable and can share a little more, it might be important to start in that area.
In addition, you can take the opportunity to talk about something that is happening to you, simply and without requiring her to talk about it. Make it very clear that you want to know what’s going on, but that you don’t want to pressure. Try to let your emotions out, don’t make the situation your own. It is important that the person does not feel this as a requirement, but rather as a space in which he will not be judged or evaluated.
Accept your limitations. Accept that it may take you a lot of trying to get her to open up, and maybe she offers too little. However, even if it seems like a small advance to you, the emotionally distant person went to great lengths to get there, so appreciate it. You also need to accept the possibility that maybe it will never open up, and you might just get tired of trying. It’s important to pay attention to what works and what doesn’t, what sustains openness and what makes the person close.
Do you know anyone emotionally distant? Do you believe it is possible to achieve some kind of approximation?
Image credits: Rafael Edwards
