3 Types Of Friendship According To Aristotle

Aristotle always attached special value to the theme of friendship in his work. For him, it was a valuable asset and an incentive to a happy life. However, he specified that in life we ​​can find three types of friendship, three types of bonds, where only one can rise to a superior form of relationship, to an exceptional bond far from interest and mere casualness.

As is well known, Aristotle was a polymath. His knowledge, or rather, his broad curiosity allowed him to acquire knowledge in very diverse areas such as logic, science, philosophy… Thus, something that is undoubtedly very striking when we approach works such as ‘Ethics to Nicomaco’ is what he describes , at that time, the human being as a strictly social creature.  He describes us as social animals, where friendship is undoubtedly the most satisfying form of coexistence.

Perhaps in his time the sage did not have access or possibility to know the mysteries of the brain, but if there is something that modern science has been able to demonstrate, it is that this organ needs social interaction to develop, survive and benefit, for its instead of adequate health. We are, without a doubt, social animals, creatures that need strong bonds with our fellow men. However, the bonds to which we should aspire must certainly be based on a series of pillars. 

The three types of friendship that characterize the human being

We often see classical philosophers as full of respectable but distant wisdom. It is the voices of yesterday that we can quote from time to time for information purposes, but thinking, in turn, that many of the things that these millenary legacies left us have little to do with current needs and characteristics. Nothing is further from reality. Furthermore, in the midst of our existential anxiety, it is really opportune to reconnect with them to discover authentic texts for personal growth.

‘Etica a Nicômaco’ is one of them, a revealing work on how to achieve happiness and on the place that our social relationships occupy in our daily lives. For Aristotle, friendship is an exchange where one learns to receive and give, but far from being conceived as a payment system, we must remember that “it is not noble to wish to receive favors, because only the unhappy need benefactors, and friendship it is, above all, freedom. The most virtuous state of being”.

On the other hand, something that Aristotle explains to us in this work is that there are three types of friendship that, in some way, we all encounter on more than one occasion.

the self-serving friendship

The fact that people instrumentalize each other is well known. Some do it more often, others do not understand it and some understand friendship in this way: “I start a relationship of false friendship with you in the hope of obtaining some benefit ”.

Although we have one or several friends, we all hope to receive something in return: support, trust, building good times, sharing leisure situations, etc. There are those who use adulation and manipulation to obtain higher dimensions: social position, recognition…

The friendship that only seeks pleasure

This is one of the three types of friendship that will undoubtedly be well known to us. It is an interaction that usually occurs a lot during adolescence and early youth. Later, when we become more selective, cautious, and apply appropriate filters, it’s less common to see this kind of two-sided friendship emerging.

Now, what is the difference between self-interested and pleasure-seeking friendships? In the first, the person seeks to obtain a benefit, be it favors, access to other people, recognition, etc. In the case of the second dimension, what is wanted is simply “to take advantage of the time”.

They are people oriented towards an empty and inconsequential hedonism, who seek to be with others exclusively to share moments of relaxation, joyful complicity and pleasant well-being. So when the other person needs sincere support in the face of a problem or when things go wrong, the false friend dissolves into nothingness, like sugar in a cup of coffee.

the perfect friendship

Among the three types of friendship defined by Aristotle, there is the ideal, the most solid, the most exceptional but still possible. It is one in which, in addition to usefulness or pleasure, there is a sincere appreciation for the other as he is. There is a kind of altruism in this bond where one does not seek to take advantage, where one simply wants to share the good times, the everyday things and also be the permanent reference to whom to turn for support.

It is friendship based on kindness, what Aristotle described almost as a couple relationship. Because, in the end, perfect friends, friends of heart are very few, they are scarce, they are the references to build a sense of deep intimacy, where we hope not to be betrayed, where experiences, memories and promises are valued like the time or distance can destroy.

To conclude, it is quite possible that many of us have at this moment the three types of friendship described by Aristotle: people who want something from us, friends who only look for us to share fun moments, and exceptional people who are there for whatever they want. and come. Friends that we wouldn’t trade for anything and who make this life a more fun and interesting trip.