If Your Plans Don’t Suit You, Go It Alone

If your plans don’t suit you, if your dreams don’t fit someone else’s mold, go it alone. Someone will find you. Because sometimes it’s necessary to put an end to a bad story to allow a new destination to find us. Think that the important thing is to move forward, being protagonists of our own journey.

Carl Gustav Jung used to say that our vision will always be much clearer if instead of looking outside, we start looking at our heart. Because those who look outside “dream”, but those who attend to their interior “awake”. Another thing we also know is that waking up is sometimes painful: it means letting go of many things we have now.

We often forget that life is really a journey. A dynamic path in which permanence is false, in which the present is still ephemeral. A reality that creates uncertainty and against which we try to gain security, often at any price.

Sometimes we cling to the permanence of these barren fields. A barren land where only weeds grow and to which we cling only because we feel secure, connected to the roots of something or someone that offers us what we call love, respect or happiness.

We are afraid to “advance” in solitude when we most need someone, we fear that melancholy will embrace us, that failure will receive us and that the realities we encounter will not harmonize with the expectations we created. But we must always keep in mind:  moving forward is also “embracing” gifts that hurt us. It’s walking along the path of detachment carrying our backpack with other plans and other winds that, sooner or later, will start to appear on the horizon…

Good plans involve crossing the line of fear

There is an old English proverb that says that  “he who has never been wrong has never dared to live”. This is something that happens quite often. There are those who choose to contract the inertia of routines so as not to take risks. Because the bad known will always be better than the good for knowing.

Because it’s more appropriate to act as others expect than surprise being the black sheep. Adjusting to the expectations of others and turning on autopilot gives us that sense of security. A free seat in the front row of the cinema where you don’t take risks, where you don’t have to face unexpected consequences.

Leaving the comfort zone effectively means passing through the wall of fear first. And not all of us are prepared for this, but  why not? Fiona Lee , Ph.D. in Social Psychology from the University of Michigan, concluded through an interesting work that people are afraid, above all, of failing.

We all have big and interesting plans in mind that we almost never put into practice. We are afraid, the opinions of others bother us, and we fear, above all, that we will fail. We tell ourselves that “our train has passed” as we go out staring at a window’s reflection. We do this by asking ourselves what would have become of us if we had taken this step. If only we had put this plan into practice.

It’s not easy. In fact, through the studies of Dr. Lee, very interesting aspects were demonstrated. Companies based on product innovation, for example, take great account of the fact that people don’t like change. At least not from sudden changes. A change is the rupture of what is established and, therefore, it implies fear, distrust and failure.

Our brain doesn’t like change either. His job is to ensure our survival, so he whispers to us that  “it’s better not to leave your comfort zone”. However, there are times when it is necessary to do this. We must take the step and cross the line of fear.

Life dreams, planes and turbulent seas

If nobody likes your plans, don’t change them. Don’t let square minds drop you into these vicious circles based on unhappiness. After all, and somehow, we all become Odysseus lost in the sea of ​​life, yearning to find ourselves. Dreaming of reaching an Ithaca where we can embrace calm, happiness and the fulfillment of our plans.

It’s time to bring about change and shape your dreams. Below we explain how you can do this.

Keys to shaping our plans

We are confident that  by this time in your life you have already put off a multitude of plans. So many that you can’t even remember them all. However, remember: those who postpone their goals, desires or dreams out of fear, do not live. Those who “put on” other people’s shoes run out of feet to walk. Those who offer air for others to breathe forget that they also have to breathe.

Shift focus, cross the line of fear of failure.

• Understand that life is a journey. That advancing along new paths is your only opportunity to transform yourself, to conquer yourself.

• Understand that we are all orphans seeking our space in this world. If you anchor yourself to plans that are not yours, then you will be an eternal castaway.

• On this trip you will experience disappointments, failures and betrayals. However, like all good castaways, you should not stop looking at the horizon. In every suffering you must advance. In every loss, too. Whenever you have a dream in mind, you can count on your breath to reach your goal.

• Remember that  your mind is an expert at creating false illusions. It will make you complacent to fit in, it will make you say “yes” when you want to scream “no”.

Be aware and make your self-esteem your best weapon. Listen to your intuition, that wise voice, that scent of your essences that acts as your best vital compass. It’s never too late to shape your dreams, your plans. Even if sometimes there is no other remedy than putting them into practice without anyone’s company.