Emotions Help Us Meet Our Needs

We all have needs of different kinds, as Maslow explained with his pyramid. Some are basic needs, such as food and protection; others are relationships, such as affection and recognition.  Emotions help us to satisfy needs, as they help us to survive,  to distinguish between a dangerous situation and one that generates well-being. Furthermore, they encourage or motivate us to relate and communicate with others.

Thus,  emotions are our inseparable travel companions. The point is that we sometimes get tired of being with us day and night. Therefore, we have to learn to manage them, to achieve a better inner relationship.

We exist and we communicate thanks to emotions

Emotions are necessary for survival; one of its main functions is to prepare us physiologically for action. Many animals have emotional behaviors that are characterized by being very effective, that is, there are certain emotions that allow us to take immediate actions. This is perhaps the first sense in which emotions help to satisfy needs.

For example, when we feel fear because we see a snake:  before we think if it is poisonous or not, our body already reacts. In this case, our heart rate increases so that more blood reaches the muscles and we can move them to physically escape the possible danger. So, if we need to get away from a situation quickly, we don’t waste time thinking and we increase our chances of survival.

Emotions communicate information to others about how we perceive and interpret stimuli,  both internal and external. Generally, a good part of this communication is done through non-verbal communication. This type of communication is faster, more natural and more intuitive than verbal language. Thus, despite not being intentional, the communication of emotions exerts an influence on us.

Emotions guide us as they give us valuable information about every situation. They help us to identify whether the experience suits us or not as we feel it pleasantly or unpleasantly. So,  depending on how we feel, we want to repeat an experience or avoid it. In this way, emotions are like an internal compass that helps us orient ourselves and focus on what is important; therefore, emotions help us to satisfy our needs.

Emotions help us meet needs

Emotions are neither positive nor negative; simply some are pleasant, such as joy, and some are unpleasant, such as anger and helplessness. All emotions have a purpose, are valid and necessary. We could understand them as our traveling companions, as friends who want to help us and show us what our needs are.

• Anger : we feel anger when faced with an unfair situation or when we realize that our rights have been violated. We need to set limits and protect ourselves.
• Sadness : we feel sad when we experience the loss of a person, object, work, etc. In many cases, sooner or later, we need someone else’s contact for comfort.
• Fear : we feel fear when we face a dangerous situation. We need to feel safe and secure.
• Joy : we feel joy when we gain something, be it a pleasant experience, a personal goal, professional success, material goods, etc. We usually need to share it with others.

If we weren’t angry, how would we protect ourselves? If we didn’t feel sad, would we be able to understand the losses? If we weren’t afraid, how would we realize that we’re in danger? If we didn’t feel joy, how would we know what generates well-being in order to be able to reproduce it? Let the emotions do their job and guide you!

4 Strategies to Control Emotions

It’s okay for emotions to guide us, but we have to find a suitable way to make it happen. We cannot let ourselves be carried away by impulses alone, without paying attention to our thoughts. Feeling any emotion is beneficial, but up to a point. We cannot let emotion flood us and not allow us to get out of it. So we need to learn how to manage them. The following strategies help us to control them:

Identify

Being aware of the emotion we are feeling helps us manage it. Knowing how to differentiate, for example, whether we are sad or upset and being able to distinguish which specific situation or thought caused this emotion to arise gives us more information to act accordingly. Furthermore, being aware of our own emotions helps us to recognize them in others and thus to have more empathy.

Tolerate

As we’ve already mentioned, there are emotions that we find unpleasant, such as sadness, which we normally try to remove from our emotional repertoire. However, we have to learn to tolerate emotion. Emotions come and go… like ocean waves. Everything has its process. If we are sad now, it doesn’t mean that we will always be that way, nor that we are sad people. Therefore, we don’t have to struggle to try to suppress an emotion. We have to tolerate the emotion, that is, feel it, listen to it, without blocking or increasing it.

control yourself

We are all capable of controlling ourselves. As Greenberg (2000) explains, knowledge of emotions offers personal enlightenment and control. If we understand that a direct battle against our emotions is futile, we can have more control over them. This means not only letting the feeling fade with time, but trying to push away the negative thoughts that make the emotion more intense, distracting yourself so that its intensity decreases, controlling impulsiveness, seeking to achieve goals through an adjustment in the impulsiveness of our conduct, etc. In this way, we will be taking care of ourselves and facilitating the increase of our well-being.

express and communicate

In addition to using our own resources, we can also, or rather  must, express emotion and communicate it to those around us. Emotions need to be shared. We must trust others and seek the care of those who could help us with relief, communicate our feelings and needs.

references

• Greenberg, LS (2000). Emotions: an internal guide. Bilbao: Desclée de Brouwer.
• Greenberg, LS & Paivio, SC (2000). Working with emotions in psychotherapy. Madrid: Paidós.