Are You The Victim, The Unlucky One Or The Phoenix? – It’s Your Choice!
When some of the people who have known me for over 10 years talk about my life, many of them say I’m unlucky. Others say I make too many bad choices. There are those who consider me a Phoenix. Do you know the legend?
In short, the Phoenix “is a bird of Greek mythology that, when it died, it self-combusted and, after some time, was reborn from its own ashes. Another feature of the phoenix is its strength, which makes it carry very heavy loads in flight, with legends in which it carries elephants. Being able to transform into a bird of fire. It would have bright, golden, and purplish-red feathers, and would be the same size or larger than an eagle… The long life of the phoenix and its dramatic rebirth from its own ashes made it a symbol of immortality and spiritual rebirth.”
I went through the victim phase : “Oh God, everything bad only happens to me”; “Because I?”; “What’s wrong with me?”; “Why have I attracted so many bad people into my life?” Then I had the guilt phase : “That person did this to me because I deserved it”; “I lost this or that because I deserved it”; “this suffering is because I left”. And so on. But then, whenever these thoughts tried to steal my mind, I would remember the friend who nicknamed me the Phoenix and the ones who, daily, remind me that I am one.
But this time, instead of getting up alone, I looked for support, help from those who have more knowledge about two topics that can and will change your life for the better, if you allow: psychology and spirituality. Yes, mind and spirit. I entered these two worlds with an open mind, which until recently I thought was unimportant, and I began to discover how and why things happened, what signs life was giving me, what I had to learn from the people around me.
One of the first things I did was learn about gratitude. Each walks the path differently. This was mine. Even deep in debt, ending yet another destructive and tumultuous relationship, by my side were the people who considered me like the bird. Helping me, comforting, listening, protecting… What did the Universe mean to me by that? I understood it as: “Stop complaining and start thanking.”
So, from the time I wake up to bedtime, I appreciate it. For everything. Having a home, physical and mental health, real friends, love from my family, joy in living, opportunities, knowledge… Then I started to forgive. And the first person who needs to be forgiven is yourself. It is not your fault. You can’t blame yourself for other people’s attitudes, other people’s bad habits, for someone who has treated you or not treated you the way you expected… It’s simply not your fault.
Then I started looking at the signs: if something happens over and over and the end is always the same, something needs to change, doesn’t it? So instead of being the victim, I went to study beginnings, means and ends. Without even realizing it, I was repeating acts of my ancestors. Repeating, repeating… For me that was normal. I believed that I didn’t deserve happiness, I was ungrateful with everything I received and somehow blocked and ruined everything by not finding myself worthy of everything I was receiving.
And so, I started taking care of my spiritual side. I was very attached to the material. The brand’s clothes, the trendy hair, I won’t even say how many pairs of shoes I have that I’ve never worn. I visited an institution and cleaned the wardrobe.
I let go of a lot that only made me spend, even if I didn’t have it, just because I had it. I moved away from people who were only around when they received something in return. But I wasn’t mad at them. I replaced resentment and hurt with prayers, with forgiveness… You don’t know what made the other person what they are today or what problems they are going through to act that way. Just exchange the anger for a prayer for that person. You will see results just as I did.
I stopped living in the past. And thinking all the time in the future: what will I eat tomorrow, what will I wear tomorrow, how much money will I have tomorrow… As I write this article, I am thinking about this article and how good it does me to write these things, tell about the my story to possibly encourage others to look at life from another angle. You never leave a “bad” event without having learned anything from it. Watch the signs.
you are unique in your abilities
Find out what they are and invest in them. Don’t think about how much money you’re going to make out of it. Do what gives you pleasure. What makes you good. And consequently, if it makes you feel good and you put love into it, the results will come. If you’ve spent your life getting involved with the wrong people, get to the bottom of it. Find out where this extreme need to suffer came from, even if unconsciously, and control it. You are capable. I’m doing it, you can do it.
Think more before acting and speaking. One word, one gesture, one action taken at the wrong time can ruin your job, your life, a relationship. Help people more. Believe me: the more you help from the heart, the more you receive from the heart. That’s how the Universe works. Don’t talk bad about other people and don’t participate in conversations like this. Do not judge. Just as by doing good you receive good, by doing evil you receive evil. When someone comes to speak ill of someone to you, change the subject, give the person a compliment. Maybe that’s what she needs. It works!
Changes never happen overnight. I’m living proof of that. Our mind is conditioned to act the same way every time. But when you realize that, everything changes. And you will only have to be thankful. I said in previous articles and I will repeat: therapy and spirituality are the key to a life of achievement, freedom and happiness.
I wish you all the best! Practice the steps I mentioned above and I’ll tell you the others soon. You will be amazed at the inner strength you have. And you’ll never complain again, talk about people, judge, blame yourself or blame others, keep your grievances (you get old, you know?)… Be the Phoenix!
Talk to you soon.
Namaste
